I CAN REINVENT

Could be better?

         I've seen this happen too many times. The woman with a good man, but leaves him; because another guy shows her more attention. It’s amazing. The oldest trick in the book; give a woman a million compliments and It pleases her soul. Everyone knows that those soft sweet words will soon sink in; especially if it’s rough at home. What's crazy is; some people want the relationship, but can't handle the growing pains that come with it. Men don't talk as much, nor do they express many feelings. That's true; in some circumstances. Men often equate love through their actions; providing, protecting, being the muscle etc. A lot of times they forget women need attention. It’s not purposely and it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. The player on the other hand has nothing but time on his hands. He isn't preoccupied with the worries of the bills and your well being. He is more concerned with every sexual fantasy that he can fulfill with you. His words are always pleasant, he never argues, he doesn't judge you, nor does he question you; He is perfect. Am I right? Of course I am; and so is the arrangement between the two of you. From his perspective, it couldn't be better. If you want the truth; he only has one concern; that's enjoying the rendezvous you have together.

        Here is a sobering thought... Before you leave Mr. Things Could Be Better; Tell Mr. Things Are so Great; you are leaving your man to be with him. Tell him how you fantasize about the long nights of conversation, the days you like to complain about the small things he forgot to do or say. Tell him how much you can't wait for him to baby sit while you go out with the girls. Wait; on Saturday, instead of riding out with the boys, tell him you rather hold hands and walk through the mall. Let's see how fast he agrees or see how fast he backs out. You WILL be surprised. Don't be so quick to leave a good man because he lacks the small things. So many people leave love for lust; which makes me ask the real question at hand. What are you truly looking for? Sometimes people use any reason, to justify their own lust and sexual ambitions. If that's the case; be fair enough to tell your mate. The last thing a person deserves; is to feel like their imperfections lead you away from them.

INSPECTOR PLEASE

Forget about the days of meeting someone, falling in love and living happily ever after. These days’; relationships have to pass a mandatory inspection. This is sad; but oh so true. As a matter of fact, to take it a bit further; it’s very necessary. The unadulterated thought of meeting the perfect person and falling in love; can blind you from seeing the little things that really outline that person’s character. No great building is built on a lousy foundation. If the foundation is not right; it doesn’t pass inspection. If it doesn’t pass inspection; it has to be fixed before building can go any further.  Why do you allow your relationship to go any different? (Before anything can be approved; it must be inspected). Take a close look at the people you meet. Before you think of the possibilities of how pretty your kids could be, how good you would feel being seen with them, or how you finally don’t have to go home to an empty house; evaluate them! Who doesn’t want to have the happily ever after? I think we all do, however; you can’t put the top on the house, before the walls are built. The walls can’t get built; until the foundation has passed its INSPECTION.  ( www.icanreinvent.com )

(It is what it is)

If I say the car is red. The car is red... What color is the car? Funny, I know. Sounds like something you learned in elementary school, Right? Well for some reason that is the hardest problem to solve now that we are older. Women; please be careful. Your hearts are full of love and you really want to be happy. Sometimes blind ambition can really hurt you. You hear exactly what he says and see exactly who he is. Even though it is evident; mentally you paint a more pleasant picture for yourself. If he says he doesn’t want a relationship, He means just that. Don’t continue having sex with him or investing time, if it’s for the sake of changing his mind. Let’s take it a bit further. If he has been caught in several incidents like; lying, cheating, or he’s abusive. Don’t say things like; you can change him, He just has a small problem, or no relationship is going to be perfect. It’s time to hear the words that are coming out of his mouth. It’s time to see things for what they are. Face it: It is what it is.

 

Friend / Relationship

(Friend / Relationship)

 

This topic must be defined between men and women. It has come to my attention that many women say friend but mean relationship (couple). The love language is very serious here. Ladies please be clear of what you mean from the start. Most importantly; make sure you know what he means. Please apply this before sex is in the picture. I can’t express how serious it is. Sex only seems to blur things for both parties. He might not be so clear; in fear of losing the privileges and you might not be so direct; in fear of losing the relationship.

The word friend means:

·         A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

·         A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.

·         A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade. One who supports or sympathizes with.

The word relationship however is very different. It means:

·         A connection, association, or involvement.

 

·         Connection between persons by blood or marriage.

 

·         An emotional or other connection between people.

 

·         A sexual involvement; affair.

 When a man says we are friends; it is just that. Notice (relationship) uses the word connection a lot; friend doesn’t. Even if benefits are involved; you must remember that the title (friend) has no boundaries. There are no commitments; which means no connection.

No Comprende

Unidentified Love Language

I hope that this will help someone with understanding why it is important to be on one accord in your relationship when it comes to the topic of love. Let me give you an example. Let's say you find a kitten. It’s a cute kitten and you adore it. Your natural reaction is to nurture, hold, squeeze and shower it with kisses. In the mind of this wild kitten; you are a human and there is nothing that distinguishes you from the rest of the humans who have hurt it in the past. So the natural reaction of the kitten is to scratch and fight against you. Your initial intent was to love the kitten. What you failed to realize was; your love language was completely different. So the kitten never gave you a chance. This is for both parties: Men and women are two very different creatures. You can’t expect everyone you meet to understand your particular love language. Understanding who you are with will save you from a lot of tears, arguments, and heartaches. People who don't understand the love language of their mate often find themselves fighting against someone who is only trying to love them. Simple things are sometimes heard wrong because we don't take time to understand the love language of our lovers.

Sugar Coat It

This is a very misleading statement we have passed down through the years. “When life gives you lemons just add sugar and make lemonade”. Well beneath that sweet illusion of concoctions there will still be the presence of those sour lemons. Pretending doesn’t take away the predicament; it only gives it time to grow into a larger one. Stop pretending. It’s time to get rid of the lemons. How many of you stay in relationships that are not beneficial for you emotionally? You learn to build defense mechanisms or should I say numbing remedies. Therefore instead of getting out; you find yourself staying in them only to get hurt more. These relationships must end. You must find help, counseling, or a support group that can help you get out of your situation. Don’t make the mistake of trying to find a small reason to magnify and make larger than the fact that he physically or verbally beats you down. You can do better. There is always an alternative. Set your standards higher. If you accept less; that’s what you’ll receive. Remember - you too can reinvent!

                                                                                                                       Thomas Ware